Why not have a date with your financials before you step into a relation of love. It is so easy to say “I love you” in a relation but when things turn topsy-turvy in real life you find difficult to say “I hate you”. So before the beginning of love you and hate you mind game to start in your life it is better to be practical and come out of the fantasy and think about some real life issues of sustainability that every living being has to face.
I have seen couples divorcing later in life just for financial issues. 70% of the cause of breakdown in a relation is because they did not had a clear and honest discussion about money matters earlier before tying the knot. Let us look at the 10 financial issues to talk before you fall in relation of love.
1. If you are in debt tell your partner
It is unfortunate but the truth and reality of life. It is quite common to see that when either of the partner is in debt the other walks out of the relation and this hurts a lot. This all happens when you hide your debts or loans from your partner before entering into a relationship. Having debts and loans is part of life but to be true to the other half is better and fair deal and to be free from mental worry of hiding the truth.
Speaking in advance of your financial situation may be appreciated by other partner and maybe he/she share your financial burden and try to lessen or help you out to be debt free.
2. Draw clear lines on how to manage joint account with your partner
Though having joint accounts in banks or any financial institution is great and beneficial for both the partners but many a times one of the partners because of lack of trust and confidence or being abusive mishandle their joint account. Talk with your partner how you will want to manage your joint account.
Who will pay bills or rent of home or other such utility bills? Or do you both wish to pay jointly. Also other home utility and needful items like if one of you want to buy a washing machine who will pay the amount or both of you will do so. How will you operate your joint account and all such questions must be make clear before opening a joint account.
3. You are spendthrift but other is not- Discuss right away
It is true a couple or husband and wife come from different background, society and culture. May be one of you like to spend money and live a luxury style life but the other is not so and walks on the principle of saving more and spending less. Here the conflict again arises.
Therefore it is better to speak and talk about this financial aspect with each other about your attitude towards money and its management. If you do not speak about your financial habits before you are doomed to have an end to your relationship soon.
4. You have a habit to spend money on gambling but other does not- Speak up
In a survey it was found that 1,600 divorces in Australia each year are related to problem gambling, and over 1 in 10 Aussie gamblers admit they lost contact with their kids and spouse as a result of their gambling habit. It is better to tell all your such kind of hobbies before hand to avoid bitter consequences.
5. Who will be in power of what- Answer truthfully
These days both the partners earn and work but still who will hold on what on money matters is important to answer truthfully. Many times it is seen one of the partners tries or controls money in his or her hand giving a feeling to other that he/she is begging for her/his needs from the other.
This draws end to your relation. So speak out who will earn who will not or both will earn and how to spend it. Hiding from each other can involve someone blaming their spouse as the cause of the couple’s financial hardship.
6. Talk about having fixed date on monthly or weekly financial meeting
It is important to discuss of other things in relation as when to have a child in your life after marriage, same way talk about fixing a day either weekly or monthly just for discussing your financial issues.
This is very important factor like you do in your professional life. Setting your common financial goals, setting a plan, drawing a system for money matters with involvement of both the partners is what is required. This not only develops financial transparency between the two also build trust and respect to each other. If one of the partner is ignorant of their financial health the blame game starts drawing end to their commitment in love. Therefore review your accounts together, take time out and plan your spending, make a budget and set your financial goals together.
7. Discuss finances without your emotions
The real issues in life are dealt with patience, calm mind and with intelligent reasoning. In the same way when talking about finances with your partner keep aside your emotions. Do not swing of get carried away with any emotional talk as you have plenty of time ahead in your life to be emotional with each other. Also do not be abusive or angry with your partner if he/she reveals some financial burden like debt or mortgage issues.
Remember you both if want to form a relation have to meet every aspect hand in hand without blaming any single person. Do not criticize if your partner says about his bad financial habit like gambling or being a spend thrift but discuss calmly and try to come to a solution. Do not make either feel you are under attack but have an open discussion on financial issues.
8. Discuss whether you both will use assets jointly or not
If you have your house or any services like electricity or gas or landline phone in your name discuss whether your partner wants it as a joint holder to make things equally responsible or not.
Putting joint assets and liabilities, like your home and or corresponding loan, in both names means you will both have an ownership interest in the asset and both be responsible for the debt. Also it is advised to think twice before putting your name on a loan that will only benefit your partner. Discussing this also a great thing as liabilities and properties is what is legally taken up if you land in your divorce.
9. Talk about sharing costs of any plan you wish to take
It is also better to talk about sharing costs of any plan you are having right now or wish to take in near future like a private health insurance, that could be cheaper to share a couples plan than pay for two singles plans. Many insurers often give family discounts on multiple policies, such as for car insurance, so talk about the sharing costs of any such plans and then shop around to see if you can get a better deal by using the same insurer for several policies and share them jointly.
10. Discuss about sharing credit cards
It is better to talk about sharing credit cards or how to manage your credit card once you are in a relation. If you are thinking about sharing a credit card with your partner, make sure you understand the different types of accounts available. Like in joint credit card both of you will have your names on it. The bank will consider the incomes and credit histories of you and your partner when you apply for a joint credit card, and you will be equally liable for repaying what’s owed on the card. A joint credit card will be suitable for you if you both share the same financial goals and trust each other to do the right thing. However, if your partner goes on a spending spree without your knowledge, you are both responsible for repaying the debt. If you can’t repay the debt, it will affect your credit rating as well as your partner’s.
With all these 10 financial issues that you need to talk before you fall in the relation of love, you need to stay positive and honest in your discussions. Also it is not that you just start rolling your financial issues at each other on your first date itself. First understand each other and when you think that right time has come and you are planning for life commitment with each other then go ahead with your financial goals.
Remember again you need to work as a team in a relationship, without blaming each other and focus on solutions to your financial problems. You better know money cannot buy love and love not to be misused too taking advantage of the other. Also if you both think you need to seek help relating to discussing finances then both of you should see a financial counsellor before you suffering from financial and emotional strains. This will also help you build a strong trustworthy and loving relationship and make you happy in life.